The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read ®

Issue 974


A Well Run Business

Me: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, “What’s the wifi password?”

Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a beer.”

Bartender: “We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.”

Me: “Sure. How much is that?”

Bartender: “Eight bucks.”

Me: “Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?”

Bartender: “It’s youneedtobuyadrinkfirst – no spaces and all lowercase.”


Ten Cool Names for Golfers:

• Hale N. Won

• Ty Tanium

• Juan Under

• T. A. Ball

• Woody Metal

• Cal Away

• Spike Mark

• R. Chi Bunker

• Chip Masters


Indisputable Golf Truisms:

• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents’ luck.

• Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

• The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

• You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

• If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.