The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read ®

Issue No: 1305

First Story of the Week
Second Story of the Week
Third Story of the Week
What Makes America Beautiful by Ron Ross

Trivia Pop Quiz


A husband walks into the kitchen, hands his wife a dart, then holds up a world map. “Honey, throw this, and wherever it lands — that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” It turns out that they will be spending two weeks behind the fridge.


A man returned from a trip when a big storm hit their town with crashing thunder and severe lightning. When he got home at about 2 a.m., he found his two children in bed with his wife, apparently scared by the loud storm. He resigned himself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, he talked to the children and explained that it was okay to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but, in the future, when he was expected home, please don’t sleep with Mom that night. They agreed.

After his next trip, his wife and children went to the terminal and anxiously waited for him to appear from the crowd of passengers. As the dad entered the waiting area, his son saw him, waved excitedly, and shouted, “Dad! I’ve got some good news! Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!”


Dumb questions or dumb answers? You decide:

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?


Which colonists told the most jokes?


Why do older people have gray hair?

They don’t — they have wisdom highlights!

Why does grandma go the extra mile?

Because she often misses the right exit!


A tired homemaker answered the doorbell. A young minister said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman. “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”


Two Mafia hitmen are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, “I gotta admit I’m scared out here.”

The other replies, “You’re scared; I gotta walk back alone”!!!


Tidbits of Greeley, Centerra, Loveland
Published by Handshake Publishing
4025 Temple Gulch Circle – Loveland CO 80538
All inquiries: 970.475.4829 or 720.934. 7677 – Email: RonRoss@

Layout and design by Manoj S. Vrathan