The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read ®

Issue: 1251

First Story of the Week
Second Story of the Week
Third Story of the Week
Dr. Ron Ross’s Lexicon of Life-lifting Words
Tidbits Deals On Wheels

Pet Bits

Trivia Pop Quiz

Strange But True

Advantage Automotive
Puzzle Page

A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”

  The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars.”

   “A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”

   “It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”


There was this guy who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time.  His friend suggested he see a doctor to have his legs checked out. The guy refused and said his friend was crazy.

     But he finally went and, sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was shorter than his right! A quick bit of orthopedic surgery later, he was cured; both legs were exactly the same length, and he didn’t lean left anymore.

     His friend said, “You didn’t believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg.”

The guy said: “I stand corrected.”


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam.  He picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk, and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

    Pencils flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled; some students wrote over 30 pages.

One student finished in less than a minute and earned an A for his two-word answer: “What chair?”


Think about it:

Getting a hair stuck in your mouth has to be a million times grosser when you’re bald.

If you want to save face, just keep the lower part shut.

Old age comes at a bad time. You finally know everything just in time to forget it.

I’ve changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now.

The Evening News is where they begin with “good evening,” then tell you why it isn’t.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half-way.

“Zest” by Ron Ross | Monday, June 29th, 2020


Zest! Now there’s a word you don’t hear very often! It’s a fun word to use, but it’s tough to work it into a conversation. When we see a toddler dash across the living room babbling happy noises all the way, we don’t comment, “Wow! That kid has zest,” even though he does.

read more
Tidbits of Greeley, Centerra, Loveland
Published by Handshake Publishing
4025 Temple Gulch Circle – Loveland CO 80538
All inquiries: 970.475.4829 or 720.934. 7677 – Email: RonRoss@

Layout and design by Manoj S. Vrathan