The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read ®

Issue 974

LOL

THEY WALK AMONG US

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said ‘Just cut it into four pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six pieces.

They walk among us!

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for some time. She shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff.”

They walk among us!

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A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace. Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seatbelt.

They walk among us!

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard two of our college interns talk about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible but said she didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.

They walk among Us!

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I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

They walk among us!